Why?

manchester

I don’t know how I can speak my opinion without being political, but I’m going to give it a try. Before I start talking about my opinion, I want it very clearly stated that I am in no way, shape, or form trying to connect anything about what happened to my previous plans nor to me. It has NOTHING to do with me. However, I cannot deny that my now changed plans remain in my thoughts. Originally, I had two trips planned to the United Kingdom this year, which I canceled within the hour of the London attack on the bridge earlier this spring. The first trip planned was a solo trip to London, the second was to another area closer to where this latest attack occurred with my children. There is nothing about the attack that has anything to do with me whatsoever, but I cannot deny that I am relieved I am no longer going. I’m not trying to single out any particular country, or area, culture. I just feel that there has been irreparable damage to society, and until major changes are made, this is only going to get worse. I despise feeling this way.

I’ve been told many times that cruel, unimaginable attacks can happen anywhere, anytime. The loss of life in any attack affects us very deeply, as we all have people we love. This morning, I sat here in tears as I watched and listened to the different videos and read the many articles surfacing about last night’s unbearable events. I hope that I never have to try to understand what these families are going through, but it seems that those who seek to impose their hate upon us don’t even care about snuffing out the lives of beautiful children.

One of the very first reactions that I expressed to a friend, was that we need to incorporate much tighter security and to every public space that we possibly can. Their obvious reaction was that it is impossible to have security everywhere. Sure, we can increase security at airports, sporting events, concerts, and other areas where people congregate in large numbers. But where do we stop? What about our shopping centers, are malls, our schools? For those who seek to implement their insidious plan, it seems that there is no target, no group in society that remains safe anymore.

When I first canceled my plans, I received several statements from individuals telling me that I was, “letting the terrorists win”. I didn’t necessarily give in based on fear, although I can’t deny that it wasn’t a part of my decision. There was no guarantee that my alternate trip last month was any safer or less vulnerable, but I felt that I was far removed from danger. I still feel that way about my second trip, but I cannot lie; the fear is there again.

How many of us have children or loved ones studying or living abroad? What about those with business all over the world, or long awaited travel plans? Are we supposed to recall them all, cancel all of our movement around the world? Is that their goal? Do we insert blame, and if so, where do we place it? Is it the responsibility of governments to protect us from this horror, or must we all spend the rest of our lives in fear? Perhaps that is letting them win after all. I know that sitting here and speaking about my feelings isn’t going to help anyone directly, nor do I believe that it will help me feel better about what has happened. I just know that these beautiful human beings died for nothing. I have so many questions that in all probability will never be answered.

Maybe I will just never understand evil, nor do I want to.

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